6 more weeks!

I am currently six weeks out from showtime! Oh, how I thought this day would never come! haha

My body is truly being pushed to the limits! Due to work and other commitments I have been waking up between 4am-5am every weekday to get my cardio in! Here is what this week looks like for me workout wise:
Monday- 45 minutes HIIT stepmill AM and PM
Tuesday- Train back and 45 minutes HIIT stepmill AM and PM
Wednesday- Train shoulders and 25 minutes of HIIT stepmill and 35 minutes treadmill (Level 3.5/ Incline 10)
Thursday- Train legs and 25 minutes of HIIT stepmill and 35 minutes treadmill (Level 3.5/ Incline 10)
Friday- 45 minutes HIIT stepmill AM and 45 minutes stemill PM
Saturday- Train upper body and 45 minutes HIIT stepmill AM and 45 minutes stemill PM
Sunday- Train legs and 25 minutes HIIT stepmill 6-8 hours after legs

YES...you read that correctly...not a day off! I also haven't had a high carb day since early last week so I'm reallllly looking forward to a full bagel and some extra rice tomorrow! My body aches, my muscles are sore, and I would love to get a little more sleep. However, at the same time, my adrenaline is flowing each and everyday for this competition. ONLY six more weeks I keep telling myself! I have been training since mid-November so it has been about five months and now I only have six weeks left! I can do this! There is definitely no giving up now!

Last Thursday, I met a seamstress that makes competition suits! This was really really exciting! It was like it was really official! I am doing this show and I'm having a custom suit made! Here is a picture of the fabric swatch I chose. I will be picking up the suit next Thursday and bedazzling it myself. I'm currently working on the design!

It's too bad that this is all almost done because I feel like I've FINALLY gotten into a routine of shopping (at Costco), cooking 1-2 times/week for the entire week, prepping the night before for the next day, getting to bed at a decent hour, and waking up ready to go! Below are a few pictures I wanted to share...

I eat 6 egg whites and 1/3 cup of oatmeal for breakfast, 1 cup of egg beaters blended with instant coffee, splenda, and sugar free syrup post workout, and then 5 meals of white fish (tilapia or tuna) and a cup of veggies. The picture is of the five main meals.

The first column is from about a month ago. The second column is from Saturday. Note: I weigh 1.5 lbs more in the photos from Saturday. See what more muscle tone and less fat can look like! Feels good!! (I know...I need a tan!)

"My strength lies solely in my tenacity."

I didn't write a blog last week because I had NO idea what to write about. It was just one of those "eh weeks". This week...whole different story. It was more than an "eh week"...it was a "I want to give up, I can't do this, no way do I want to keep going, give me ice cream and cookies and french fries and bread and let me sit in my room, by myself, and stuff my face kind of week"!! And guess what, on Friday, I would have been MORE than okay with that!


I had a bad couple of days toward the end of the week. Nothing in particular, just in a mood. The end of the weeks are always the hardest for me. Monday starts off great, I see my trainer Tuesday through Thursday and Thursday evening is when the exhaustion kicks in. Friday is always pretty miserable but starting off Saturday morning with a great gym session definitely spruces things up. The weekend goes by okay and then Monday I'm off to a great start again! Sounds a little bi-polar, I know, but it is what I've been feeling for about the last three months and at this point, I'm just embracing it as it is what it is.


It was Friday afternoon and it was pouring rain outside. Food consumed my every thought! Yogurtland with chunks of cookie dough and cheesecake pieces, donuts, carne asada nachos, french fries, cookies, red velvet cupcakes, anything and EVERYTHING  that had to do with food was taking over every inch of my brain! I can't do this! I thought to myself. As soon as I'm done here, I'm going to Yogurtland, getting a heaping thing of yogurt and treats, going home, crawling under the covers, and devouring the whole thing! Savoring every single bite and not feeling a bit guilty! I have never thought about food, and crappy food, in the way I think about it now! You would think that I was a heavy kid growing up and I was in the process of going back to my old ways. It's pretty sad actually! Well, as I let those thoughts take over my every brain cell, I started crying. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I sent one of my best friend's a text that read, "I'm depressed...don't think I want to do this competition anymore!!" She called me within a second and literally talked me down from the ledge! She reminded me how long I have been wanting to do this. How much time and energy I have put into this training. How hard I've worked! The results I've seen! And yet, on my side of the phone, all I could do was cry. Cry to the point that I couldn't breathe enough to even get a word out. So I just listened. She told me how proud she was of me and how I only had a short period of time left and reminded me that I've been doing this since November!! Why stop now she asked. I said, "I just want to eat! I want to do what everyone else is doing and not feel guilty about it. Maybe I'm okay with the way my body is now. Maybe I don't need to get to into "figure show shape". Maybe I'll just keep training hard but if I want to eat, gosh darn it I'm going to eat!" She then spoke some more while I cried and listened. As soon as we got off the phone I text my trainer. Her and I text back and forth for a bit and then talked later on. She let me know her struggles that she went and still goes through at times. How it's totally normal to feel this way and to share my every thought with her. She let me know that I'm not crazy or bipolar and she too reminded me how far I've come. She allowed me a cheat meal on Friday night to ease my mind and it would also speed up my metabolism and shock my body. But eight weeks out, I was slightly worried this would hurt me. She said, "It will do more good at the point then bad." So Matt and I went to Fleming's and had an extremely guilt-less meal! Bread, salad, steak, potatoes, and carrot cake for dessert! My stomach you ask?...well that didn't feel too great that night and in the morning...I felt so puffy and dehydrated BUT the meal was delicious, the company was even better, and the workout I had that morning was fantastic! Kristi, my trainer, checked on me Saturday afternoon and reminded me again of everything she did before. I then went grocery shopping and stocked up on all the essentials and have been cooking the last couple days so that I'm prepared to take on the week!


I have eight more weeks (sounds so much shorter than two months!)! I can do this! Erika was right, I can do this because I have wanted this for so long!! Why give up now?! I would be so upset with myself later if I gave up, especially, being this close. I may have one more breakdown, I may have eight, who knows?! But at the end, on June 9, it will ALL be worth it!




"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

Dedication and Perseverance

As I contemplated on what to write this blog about a few things crossed my mind. At first I was worried about training for a figure competition to come across as annoying or negative. I don't want anyone to read this blog or any past or future blog and think, "Now why on earth are you doing that to yourself?" Or when hearing me talk about it to think that I'm portraying it in a negative light. Then I realized that I was over thinking this "blog" and just needed to write from the heart.

I am in no way complaining about training for this nor talking negative on it. Heck, I chose to do this! This is a choice and I could technically quit whenever I feel like it. There is no doubt that I could (and sometimes want to) go to the store and buy a dozen cookies and eat them ALL or get a huge Philly cheesesteak and devour it in under 5 minutes but I then have to remind myself, what will that accomplish? That may satisfy a craving during consumption and for about 2 minutes afterwards but what will I feel like on the inside? What will my insides be doing? You see, when you consume sugar (whether it be in sweets or in bread) your insulin levels spike which then sends your body in to fat storage mode. For what I'm trying to accomplish, this is not good! Let me tell you what a typical food diary currently looks like for me:

Meal 1: 3/4 cup of oatmeal w/ 1tbsp flax and 2tsp splenda
1 scoop of protein powder (shake)
Meal 2: 1 scoop of protein powder mixed with coffee.
Meal 3: 5 oz Turkey and Veggies
Meal 4: 5 oz Tilapia and Veggies
Meal 5: 5 oz Turkey and Veggies
Meal 6: 5 oz Tilapia and Veggies
Meal 7: 6 Egg Whites and 2 oz lean red meat

There is a regimen to get your body ready to compete on stage and I have ten weeks to go. Some days are a heck of a lot harder than others. Other days I have an insane amount of energy and fly through my workouts without thinking twice. Training for this has been one huge emotional roller coaster. (And you don't want to catch me when I'm at the bottom!) It seems that when I'm starting to have doubts I end up receiving a text or email with encouraging words which reminds me to keep on pushing. 30-45 minutes, twice a day, on either the stairstepper or the treadmill is actually doing wonders for getting my mind right! In the beginning, going back to the gym for that second cardio session almost seemed like a chore. Now, I welcome it! As my trainer recently blogged about, I close my eyes and visualize myself on stage, making each quarter turn flawlessly, smiling and having fun!

I would have to say that in the beginning, not being able to eat whatever I wanted was the most difficult part. Now that that craving is pretty much curbed, time management has been the hardest part. However, there is no "time management" when the only things there seems to be time for are to eat, work and workout. I feel that the person that has an even harder time then the one training is the one they live with, are dating, or married to. They didn't make the decision to train for a show, to have a limited diet, to only go eat at certain places at certain times, to go to the gym almost every single day commit to a 1-2 hour session! And yet, they're sucked in! Matt and I have had to make time and we are slowly figuring it out. On Sunday, he came to the gym with me and we did an insane leg workout and he even did my cardio with me afterwards! Now, that's Quality Time (and love)!


My clear stripper heels arrive last week and I've been eyeing up suits! I've decided to have a plain suit made for me and then I will bedazzle it myself with my own design. This will be time consuming but it will help me keep my mind off other things in between meals and it will give me an even bigger sign of accomplishment come showtime!